The Games People Play
by DoDoBeDo
Summary: /ABANDONED/ Holby City: RicConnie musing. Director of surgery job takes them to Paris...
1. Chapter 1

Passing her eyes over the email she tried not to groan too loudly, she didn't normally read her emails until 1:40, half way through her lunch break it was a somewhat routine occasion, but when the subject of the email indicated a trip away she couldn't help but break her usual date with her inbox and open it at 10am. However, by doing so she wish she had held off, Jayne Grayson was one woman who could get Connie to squirm in her seat, she hated to admit it but the thought of Jayne getting one better over her she hated. The start of the email was very persuading two weeks for a conference in Paris, who was she to decline until she read the CC and it included Michael Spence. Conferences were usually just an occasion where she turned up at the first meeting and never bothered going to a second; then pampered herself for the remainder of the gestation away. Knowing that the main competitors for the director of surgery post were to be joining her meant that she couldn't even attempt to sneak away- her decision to turn up or not at every meeting would all go to getting the job she desired.

Then she thought, two weeks with 3 men, two of which would do anything to get her on her back, into bed with them and making her scream could be fun. She knew only one of them would succeed; only one of them ever had; only one ever would. She enjoyed playing them like pawns in her game, she was the queen, the best piece on the board she could go anywhere in her life and do it quickly, taking out many people on the way however they were spare parts that had very little where to go, one step at a time. She laughed softly at this thought; the only person who understood her as she understood herself was going on this conference with her, that's if they agreed to it, which she most certainly hoped they did.

She liked the games with one, the sneaking about and the challenge of keeping quiet knowing that if anybody knew about what they did behind the closed doors of the linen cupboard it would blow both of their chances of this job and no doubt the ones they posses now, as well as the games they played at home in the privacy of their bedroom when her daughter was most definitely asleep. The other man in this competition she liked playing, playing him as a fool, stringing him along making him believe he had a chance when realistically he had no hope in hell of winning her.

Connie Beauchamp loved games, but they're always better when you win. It doesn't matter if they're the games she played as a child or those she now plays in the bedroom with the current object of her affections. This job was a game and Connie Beauchamp planned on winning it.


	2. Chapter 2

Just as she was about to leave the office to have a few choice words with none other Jayne Grayson her phone rang. She almost saw it as a blessing, a way to put up facing Jayne someone that right now she was afraid she could actually kill. She picked up the phone and sat on the corner of her desk, no one chose to ring her unless it was a god given emergency, "Connie Beauchamp" for the second time in twenty minutes she tried not to groan, hearing that American accent just made her want to commit genocide rather than just a singular murder. She reluctantly listened to the first few sentences then switched off, giving the odd 'Umm ' and 'ahh' in the appropriate places.

The way he said her name made her cringe, he couldn't pronounce the C and the O correctly; it came out as a K and an A. Quite regularly she wanted to point this out to him that her name was in fact Connie not Kannie, but she was actually too polite to even mention it- not to even think that it would come back on her, she'd be up against racism allegations from Jayne by the end of the week and all her chances of getting the job as Director of Surgery would be out of her 6th floor office window with the rest of her career. As she was mulling this thought over, she sincerely hoped she misheard something she was half paying attention to. Michael Spence asked her that if when in Paris he could take her to dinner. At first her reaction was to decline, and decline quickly but then it came to her mind that maybe this could in fact make the whole conference away fun. She could have dinner with him; string him along further than she has before, get a wining and dining on his expense, it could be amazingly entertaining. Her scheming was interrupted by that ghastly American accent on the other end of the phone that she had forgotten was awaiting her answer to his invite.

She accepted quickly and hung up on him seconds after, grinning to herself in satisfaction of her achievements. All of a sudden this trip to Paris wasn't such a bad idea.


	3. Chapter 3

A week, a pleasant week, soon passed and the trip to Paris was soon nearing and her plan was expanding. In her mind she was having doubts, although the idea of being wined and dined by Michael, Ric and Elliot made her realise how very different all of the competitors for this job were, what must have attracted Jayne to get their applications, but what also crossed her mind is how they all shared similar traits to her. Michael was virtually her male counterpart when it came to work, flirty, rude, and sarcastic he was her in a male form. Ric was thoughtful, full of fresh ideas, a fantastic surgeon and held a deep within hate, shared by her, for Michael. Then there was Elliot, he was the creative one, imaginative, absolutely stark raving bonkers to put it politely but one of the best cardiologists she'd had the pleasure to work with. She knew that Jayne and the remainder of the board were going to have a tough time choosing who'll win the job, but Connie held all of the positive traits of the rest of the group plus some but once again she knew that the fact she had a baby to juggle with her job would be brought up and possibly overrule all of her traits and cause her to miss out on the opportunity.

Once again the thoughts of Paris crossed her mind, but instead this time the good aspects of the city were in her thoughts. Last time she'd been in Paris she'd been with Michael on their 10th wedding anniversary, just before she started working at Holby, just before she met Ric. She loved Paris, she always had and she decided that this time could easily better the time spent there with Michael. She'd not only have the beautiful city and two weeks without her daughter for the first time, but she'd have her best friend, sex on tap and the man she enjoyed stringing along to extraordinary lengths with her. It was a shame she'd have to actually attend the conference really.

Her mind then wandered to that of the sex she'd been receiving on tap for the past 8 months, deep down she knew it was that little bit more but she couldn't let herself want that again. Not after the time before with her husband, she knew that if she let him know that she'd fallen for him she'd be at his mercy, she couldn't be left out of control and by falling for him she would be. She thought back to the times she was at Michael's mercy, when he always over powered her, when he made half hearted promises to protect her, what she always believed after timeless occasions of him breaking them. She was a control freak and by falling in love again she'd loose the control she so craved, she'd loose that calm and collected front she possessed- she couldn't risk that even if she did love him.

That day was the first in 8 months where she emailed Ric and told him not to come over. Her excuse was that she wanted to spend time with Grace before she went away; it was the first time in those 8 months where she'd lied to him she did want to spend time with her daughter, yes, but the real reason was that she was scared, scared that for the first time in her life she'd gotten herself so deep into something she couldn't get out. What started out as sex, mind-blowing and regularly over kinky sex, had turned into something she was no longer in control of. It scared her.


	4. Chapter 4

When her phone rang she knew who it would be, it would be Ric asking her to talk about it, it being whatever made her say no to him for the first time in their 'relationship'. She deeply considered not answering the phone, but she'd then know that he would come and accost her in her office and squeeze whatever was the matter out of her and right now she couldn't face that. She knew that if she told him what was on her mind she wouldn't be laughed at, but at the same time it could ruin everything they had and that to her was what she wanted most, them. Putting her current train of thought to the back of her mind she picked up the phone, getting her air of authority back and answered it "Connie Beauchamp"

"Kannie, Kannie, Kannie..." She cringed. Michael at this moment in time was worse than Ric; he was the last person she wanted to hear, never mind the fact he sounded as if he'd just found something out, yet she kept her cool and responded. "Michael, do you have a reason in ringing me?"  
"Do I need a reason Kannie?" she bit her tongue, yet stayed calm- something what right now was proving to be a challenge, "Yes actually, seeing as I'm about to go to theatre and if you're planning to just waste my time I'd like to know so I can hang up now..."  
"You and Ric..." he was quick; she immediately put up her razor sharp defences, "What about Ric and I?"  
"Yasee Kannie, I'm not stupid... and I've come to the conclusion that you and Ric, wellll... yanno... are iat it./i"  
She was insulted, first of all, she started to get the feelings of embarrassment of people finding out and asking questions. That's when the anger kicked in and she went off on one, "Michael am I not permitted to have male friends and a social life? By the way I'm not stupid either you know, I sent Ric an email all of 2 minutes ago and I have a sneaking suspicion that once again you're using his computer and you read his mail- now, Ric and I are friends, nothing more nothing less and friends have dinner... so drop this now before I kick your little American booty all the way back over the pond." She slammed the phone down, satisfied that she covered her tracks well enough to keep Michael's suspicions at bay, for now at least.

Yet, even after convincing Michael she was still unable to convince herself that all Ric was to her was a friend with amazing benefits. So she went out onto the ward and did what she was best at, saving lives and mending hearts- it was days like this she wondered if she could ever mend her own. Playing games was all very well and good, but sometimes people got hurt, Connie wondered if maybe this time it was one of those occasions.


	5. Chapter 5

Arriving home that evening she was greeted by a more than excited Grace, who was almost devastated at the thought of her new friend not being there, over the past 8 months of her life she'd grown to idolise Ric, or as she named him Icky. Connie laughed when she first heard Grace attempt his name; if she and Ric were honest they both did but yet neither of them had the heart to tell her that it was wrong because she was so excited over the fact she managed to say something more than the every day jargon she needed to get by.

Quality time with her daughter for Connie had been few and far between. Yet every time she snuggled down on the settee with Grace she wished she did it more often but though she said she would, she never did. She loved her daughter, she never thought it possible to love someone with as much depth as she did her daughter, her Grace. When she looked down at Grace she felt it was like looking into a mirror, at first she was scared that she would look too much like her father and coming up to her third month of life she was showing signs of it with the tufty black hair and the dark eyes, then it changed when summer came along, her hair lightened in the sun, the colour of her eyes was a more obvious olive green.

Over the next year her hair grew into chestnut ringlets, it was a scary resemblance one that Ric often pointed out to her. Over a few months he started to regularly pointed out that Grace slept with the same facial expression as she did, something she took with a pinch of salt and refused to believe saying that no child of 14 months old can sleep the same way as her mother yet Ric was that adamant to prove how alike they were that he took the care of giving photographic evidence to prove his point. A bit of photographic evidence she has in a frame beside her bed, one of the most natural photos of herself and Grace she possessed, one of the most beautiful photos she possessed full stop.

That's when she realised, even with Grace here beside her she felt lonely, she felt lonely because every good memory she had what had of Grace, her first word, first step they all had something in common- Ric. Ric was there when Grace made her first voyage across the lounge. He was there the first time she called her mummy, he was the one who caught her when she fell down the last two stairs when Connie was cooking their dinner. He shared all those moments with her, shared her smiles and her fear. Something she never thought she'd experience again in her life, yet she had and she now realised she was truly blessed to have that not once but twice in her days was something special.

She knew that in Paris she had to tell him, tell him the reality. Ask him what she meant to him, if anything more than a woman to fill his sexual desires, a plaything for him. This was meant to just be a game, a bit of fun she'd started to fill her time, fill that burning hole in her life yet only when she started it did she find a second burning hole- the desire to be loved by another man. She just hoped with him the games were over, she considered this game won, the next was persuading him that she was more than a toy to play with. She had to play this game seriously because crossing it was a minefield. One wrong step and her life would be over.


	6. Chapter 6

When Paris came the day after Connie was, needless to say, in a state of desperation. She couldn't look at Ric, what obviously drew his attention to her further something what right now was the last thing she wanted. He must have known something was up; she usually craved his attention that was another of their games, her seeking his attention. She sat down and fiddled with her glasses, cleaning the lenses with the soft piece of material she kept with them, feeling a motion of someone sitting beside her she turned and looked at the man by her side, it not being the one she thought it would be she was somewhat taken aback.

"Connie... What's wrong?" He was concerned, she could tell in his voice that he was.  
"Elliot, I don't know what's got into me... Yesterday morning it just it hit me... I'm loosing my control, the one thing I strive on and... I'm loosing it. Without that control I'll not even stand a hope in hell of this job... I wouldn't have entrusted Sam with Grace for two weeks if it meant so little to me, but with no control over things I'll just fall..." She was deep, meaningful and he knew that this wasn't the Connie he'd befriended those 2 years ago. He linked his arm with hers and took her for a walk around the duty free. "You haven't lost control Connie, you have, correct me if I'm wrong, fallen in love haven't you?"  
She guiltily looked up at him, then laughed softly "How the _hell_ did you figure that one out Mr Hope?"  
"Ahhh so you aren't denying it then? The wondrous, supposedly heartless Connie Beauchamp has got herself a love life..." she turned and looked at him, if only looks could kill, "Joke Connie... I'm happy for you... and whoever Mr Connie is. Believe me, I like my head where it is too much to ask"  
She laughed softly, "Then, Mr Hope, I shan't tell you... hell, I don't even know myself what's going on. Hence the loss of control..."  
"Connie, a word of advice, you should follow your heart. Believe me, the first time I listened to my heart I got Gina, god bless her, if I'd had listened to my head I'd never have gone over there and introduced myself thinking I was no good for her. But look Connie, I got married to her, had two beautiful children with her... Go for it because if you don't I know you will hate yourself."  
"Elliot, I think you know me too well." She laughed softly again. "But I think you're right... I think that I'll follow my heart not my head. Do you realise how... how stupid all this sounds in my head Elliot? This whole idea, I swore to myself that after Michael happened I wouldn't do it again. But I have and I just hope that it doesn't end the same way... diabolically."  
"You've been a good friend to me the past few years, so I'll give you some much needed words of my wisdom. Whoever he is would be stupid not to want you ok Connie, now you aren't my type- bit young and besides, you're my best friend but in the perspective of a man he would be stupid, very stupid." That's when she gave him a gentle smile joined shortly by a soft laugh.  
"Sometimes Elliot I do wonder what I'd do without you..."

As they both laughed and continued browsing the duty free Connie realised that now the ball was in the other court, she knew what she was going to do but how Ric responded to her confession was a different game entirely, he could throw the ball right back at her, tell her were to go or he could keep it with him until he decided it was a right moment to return the gesture. She just hoped the latter tactic was the one he chose to play.


	7. Chapter 7

Upon their arrival at the hotel Connie was finally looking and talking to Ric, she had no choice after nearly an hour sat beside him on a plane, something what she was actually quite relieved of seeing as flying never had been one of her favourite pastimes, and having someone sat beside her who knew, who was in fact the only person who knew put her mind at rest. Even if in decent she was so tense from worry they wouldn't land right she grabbed his hand and virtually cut the circulation off. Deep down she knew that he was attempting not to laugh, knowing he was there to hold her hand in situations like the current one reassured her, comforted her, but being Connie Beauchamp she would never admit to her weaknesses.

As they were given their keys she realised that all the men were in the same room and she had her own, she hid her devastation well it being caused by the realisation that this meant she and Ric wouldn't be able to even have a sly sexual encounter as both Elliot and Michael would manage to put two and two together and realise that they were indeed 'together'. So out of the blue Connie did something she wouldn't normally do, of course it was only to advantage her self, but she decided to invest in getting 2 more rooms as she knew that neither Michael nor Ric would be all that happy to share with Elliot and it meant that no one would know if Ric and her were in the same room or not. So far their little trip to Paris was panning out quite nicely, minus the fact that tonight she did in fact have to share the night with none other than Michael Spence something that she was in some ways looking forward to and in others considering turning him down last minute.

Michael was boring her to death, she tried not to switch off and tune out but it was proving harder than she thought. The way he said her name made her teeth grind together, she was at the point of wanting the ground to just open up and swallow her whole. She realised it must say something when you think to yourself that you'd rather be in the company of Linden Cullen or Keith Greene over Michael Spence. That's when Michael Spence pushed her one step too far with the comment that sounded like something along the lines of "Women should never be allowed in the medical profession as anything above a nurse" and she snapped, of all the things she thought he was she never thought that of him, it would certainly explain why he always tried to belittle her and get one over on her. Connie Beauchamp had a hot temper, yes, but up until that day she'd never lost it in a public place, not like this anyway.

She didn't even have to justify herself and every woman in the medical profession, she knew he only did it to wind her up, get her angry but she doubted he expected what was coming next, standing up with her bag she said good night before taking his pint of larger and throwing it over him she knew that an action like that could cost her the job but quite honestly she thought it felt good, then she walked out of the restaurant, back to the hotel, back into the arms of Ric where they laid in bed together and laughed about it.


	8. Chapter 8

It was the morning after the night before, Connie was trying to delay going down to breakfast as long as she possibly could, and she doubted that she would even be able to look at Michael after her actions the night before, not that she regretted them or that she was ashamed of the way she behaved as in her eyes all she did was a simple act of self defence. Deciding it was pointless putting off the inevitable she got on some clothes, made herself look at least half presentable and went downstairs to the dining room to join the rest of her colleagues. She was greeted with a nervous smile from Elliot, an icy glare from Michael and a smirk what was threatening to become a laugh from Ric. "Morning" she was monotonous, looking at all three of the men before her once again, "I know what you're thinking, yes I threw larger over Mr 'I think I'm Sexy' Spence over there and if I had the opportunity I would do it again, and again and again. So Elliot, no I don't regret my actions and Ric, this doesn't make you any more popular with me. Capiche?" she looked at them, Elliot looked sheepishly up at her, only to be met with an icy glare when he opened his mouth "You certainly don't seem as you've lost that control you were after yesterday... you seem to have regained it."

All of a sudden she felt like she did at school, alone. Ric, a person she thought she could trust was ganging up on her with the man she considered her best friend. This was a role reversal; the games were being played on her rather than by her the queen on the hospital board was being attacked by the pawns in her game, usually they were on the same side but for a change they decided to play for the opposition. "Kannie..." This moment was truly the moment Connie Beauchamp lost her control, "Michael, my name is not Kannie it is in fact Connie. It has a C and an O at the start not a K and an A like you have so regularly mistaken. So if you can't even manage to pronounce my name correctly, don't bother talking to me at all," she turned on her heals and headed for the hotel doors, she had to get out of there away from them so she did. She made haste to the main entrance, walking away from the competition. She almost managed her clean escape when she heard him call her name; she froze in her movement, turning to look at him. "I trusted you Ric... I bloody well trusted you and you go and throw it back at me. I was looking forward to this, us, Paris... Tonight I was going to make the most magical night of my life, I was going to let myself fall in love again and now... now all I want to do is go home... Just leave it Ric. I won't be at any meetings today I just... I need time."

That was the day Connie planned on folding, throwing her cards on the table and giving up, yet after one look from Ric, a worried look that she'd only ever seen twice before, she didn't know if she would. She was torn, her head was telling her to walk away from Ric, from her job start fresh somewhere else, take up the offer she had from London but her heart was telling her to trust Ric, keep fighting because this job was only a game and she was good at winning games, but she couldn't keep playing her life as a game because eventually you would loose. All life was, was a game of Snakes and Ladders, sometimes you struck it lucky and went up in the world but then by throwing the wrong number on the dice your world could come crashing down and you could be right back at the beginning. She didn't know which of those just occurred.


	9. Chapter 9

"Connie... Please, don't give up like this. This isn't you Connie..."

She wondered if he'd heard her properly, if he heard that she was going to let herself fall in love. She knew this wasn't her, not the her he knew anyway, this wasn't the ball breaking, formidable woman she knew herself as, this wasn't Connie Beauchamp this was Connie Chase, the weak, feeble girl who set her hopes too high- the girl who wanted the 2.4 children, the perfect career, the loving husband, a dog and still time to spare.

She wiped the few stray tears what had made their way down her face, "That's where you're wrong Ric. This is me; this is the person I used to be, before Michael. I don't know if I can do this anymore, the face I put on at work isn't who I am, its merely a shadow of who I wanted to be and you, you of all people should know that this is the real me- the woman who cries, laughs at your dire, dire jokes... this is the real Connie. Not that woman you see at the hospital and I thought..." she wiped the remainder of her tears, "I thought, foolishly, that in there you would have fought my corner, stuck up for me because I told you what Michael said to me... Yet you still choose to laugh over Elliot's mention of my loss of control, even though it is in fact your fault."

"How's it my, personal, fault Connie?" He looked confused, she did love his confused face but with it was a hint of anger wanting to get out. She decided to keep it simple she thought that keeping it simple would make things easier for her in the long run and by keeping it easy she knew that it couldn't easily be misinterpreted, so she bit her tongue and went for it, "I love you Ric... I have fallen head over heals in love with you and quite simply I don't know what to do with it, how to handle it. After Michael I promised to myself I wouldn't let myself be so foolish again, yet I was foolish and I was foolish enough to believe with it that maybe you could have at least had a slight feeling of reciprocation, that maybe with you I actually stood a chance, that I was good enough for you... yet now, now I wish I... I wish... I wish I wasn't so stupid as to let myself feel this way about someone again because when I'm with you I just feel so powerless, so helpless and... God I didn't expect it to be like this, I wanted to tell you tonight, up the Eiffel tower, looking over Paris but now I wish I never even thought of telling you at all..."

Paris was indeed the city of romance, yet when the ball had been served Connie didn't know what to expect, she'd told him she loved him, she'd told him how she felt and in a way she never thought she would. She was expecting it to be at least a tiny bit romantic, just to give her an extra chance of him saying the four words back. Now the deed had been done she once again wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, she couldn't help but wonder if there was the tiniest of chances that maybe he'd throw the ball right back at her and she'd catch it.


	10. Chapter 10

It was as if they were the only two people in the street, as if time just froze when their eyes locked. She searched his face for any evidence that he maybe at least had some similar feelings; she was interrupted, really rather rudely, by Elliot barging out of the hotel, croissant in mouth to see what all the commotion was about and to apologize. She was taken back into the hotel by him, demanding to know what it was all about, she felt like a teenager who's dad had just taken her from the person she believed to be the love of her life, needless to say she couldn't help but look back over her shoulder to get one last, longing look at Ric before she was perched onto the settees in the hotel foyer where Elliot gave her that last bit of confidence back.

"Connie, I don't know what all that was about but whatever it was, I'm sorry... You're the best candidate for the job, if you don't get it- I don't know who will. You're an amazing surgeon, one of the best I've ever worked with. If you put your mind to something you can do it... Which is why I'm going to get the next flight back to Bristol, who am I to kid- I know I'd be bloody terrible at the job." She laughed softly "Elliot, sometimes you have all the finesse of a bull in a bloody china shop but I've never worked with someone so stark raving bonkers they stroke the realms of being some mad genius... You're a fantastic surgeon and I think, no, I know that you'd not enjoy the job. You hate the load of paperwork you get now... But I don't know if I'm right for the job now."  
"Connie... this isn't because of the job, this is because you've brought your personal life into the job. You want this job, Connie you keep fighting for it because if the board don't choose you they'd be stupid." She nodded "Yeah... you're right... But stay Elliot... 2 weeks off in France; just don't turn up at the conference hall every morning... Have a holiday. The hotel is paid for, enjoy yourself."  
He laughed softly at the suggestion, "Elliot... I'm not kidding, I went to conferences in France, Spain, Germany, Austria, Holland and you seriously think I went for the things I was supposedly going to learn, what in fact I already knew? No... I went for the all expenses paid holiday..." They both laughed, "Connie Beauchamp, I had you down as many things but never did I have you down as a bit of a skiver..."  
"Well, you know what they say... you learn something new everyday." Smirking she stood up, "Thank you Elliot, I know I say it a lot but I really don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."  
"It's what friends do Connie. We have very absorbent shoulders you know." She grinned and nodded.  
"I just hope tonight's dinner is a little less... eventful, that last night's. Ric's taking me out and well... we haven't exactly got on the past few days so I'm hoping that will be sorted." She gave a small smile, "Anyway, you go and have a good time while I sit in that hall and potentially die of boredom, I would go to the spa and put it all on the hospital's bill but I have a job to go and win."  
"Have fun Connie." He laughed.  
"Urgh, I shall try to... I doubt it what with Michael there and Ric not even being able to look at me, but I'll try. Enjoy the rest of your holiday then Elliot"  
"Oh, I'll have extra fun knowing you're in there suffering" they both laughed. "See you later"  
"Yeah... see you later"

Sometimes every Queen needs her castle to keep her upright that was what Elliot was to her. Her support tower, whenever she needed a bit of reassurance he was there and he never failed in resorting her to laughter. He protected her like she was his queen, sheltered her from the storms she'd suffered in her life... but no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't Ric.


	11. Chapter 11

That evening it was if the morning hadn't even happened. Ric took her out for dinner as was planned; dinner out for them happened every Saturday when Grace was staying with Sam. They'd eaten in every restaurant in Holby, stayed in most of the hotels with more than 4 stars, which actually for a reasonably small city had a fair few of 4 and 5 star hotels. Occasionally if Sam was having Grace for the weekend they'd gone away, most of the time it was to London but on the off occasion Edinburgh and some village in the north of Wales. Saturday nights for the past eight months had been solely dedicated to them. Needless to say that night in Paris was no different, walking through the softly lit city, creating the atmosphere around them she wanted that night. It was when she looked around her she realised that she and Ric looked no different to the other couples sharing that magic what is Paris, she wondered regularly if everyone visiting the city thought the same as she did- it was more beautiful just for them. She did eventually concur, when they reached their destination, that maybe it was just something everyone who came to the city believed however just for this one night of her life she chose to believe that it was just her feeling like that- it certainly made it feel that bit more special for her.

Looking up she realised that they were actually stood in front of the wonder what was the Eiffel Tower, smiling softly she decided to break the awkward silence. "I've never seen it at night... not up close..."  
"You not?" he seemed almost proud of the fact he'd done something right, he knew she was in a somewhat fragile mood over the past few days, even if she didn't admit to it. He did care incredibly deeply for her, ever since her first day those 4 years ago and that morning, hearing her say that she loved him shocked him to the core, in a really rather pleasant way. It was something he never expected when their regular sexual dalliances began. Then again, when their relationship, if you could call it that, began he didn't expect Connie to be the sort of woman into handcuffs and whips yet when Sam had Grace out came her toy box and Connie began to play games with him. So after her confession that morning he could hardly believe that it was in fact the same woman, the woman who chained him to her metal head board and left him there for the night, had confessed to loving him. But knowing her as well as he did, he knew she'd be feeling incredibly nervous after that morning's events, he owed it to her to make her feel more special than he had in a long time, she certainly made him feel more wanted than he had in a length of time.  
"Ever eaten in the restaurant up there?"  
"No" She grinned, "Don't tell me you've gone and booked a table... I couldn't get one when I rang last week and tried to get one..."  
"Well, good job I booked nearly 3 weeks ago isn't it." She laughed softly, "Mr Griffin you are one dark horse aren't you."  
"Could say the same about you Ms Beauchamp..." He grinned cheekily, leading her up the stairs of the tower "Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" he watched as the colour slowly rushed upwards to her cheeks, even under her makeup he could see them slowly turning to a light beetroot.  
"Thank you."

Tonight was the night that the games stopped. The night his position in her life was upgraded from pawn to at very least a prepossessing knight, her knight in shining armour. He was the man who saved her from herself; he changed her for the better. That night she knew that she'd be coming home to the man she truly believed she could spend the rest of her days with quite happily. Realistically the games would never stop. Playing games was what they both thrived on, they got control from them be it him when he'd win the director of surgery position or her when Sam had 

Grace for the weekend and they shared some time together. Ric was the only person to ever beat her at a game; quite honestly it was something she was glad about because it was the day he won that that she realised she was the real winner, she'd won him, his heart and quite honestly not even a job could have replaced that. She thought before that night that the games people play were always about winning, but in this instance she came second and got the better prize, she got someone to love her and quite simply that was a prize she knew she'd never loose.


	12. Chapter 12

After they ate she stood at the edge of the tower and looked out over the city beneath them, it was lit to perfection, the moonlight above giving a glow about Paris she'd never seen before, feeling a set of strong, well toned arms slide around her slender waist she smiled softly and curled into the frame she felt beside her, a person who's frame she'd been all to accustomed to jig-sawing with her own. She turned to look at him before she opened her mouth and spoke, she knew that a moment like this had to be timed to perfection, taking a deep breath she knew that this moment was the one she'd been waiting for, "Ric... what I said earlier... I did mean it. I know you probably only saw it as me looking to make up a sorry excuse but... I did mean it. Really I did, I do love you..."

Ric tried to hide his enthusiasm over this confession, he knew that that morning she meant it- he'd never seen her so worked up over anything like she was that morning. He'd never heard her voice laced with so much passion, he heard the tears as they built up and seeing her like that almost broke his heart hearing her light that but what broke his heart further is that the moment he went to open his mouth and tell her that, yes, he did love her too they were interrupted really rather rudely by Elliot, so needless to say when she said it on the tower he replied with no hesitation that he did love her too. "I know you do Connie, this morning... I'd never seen you like that. I believed every word, every single word you said. If you'd have shut up for just 5 seconds before Elliot came to the rescue you'd know that I love you to... have done for months..."

He was silenced before he could say anything further as her lips crushed against his. It was a passion that neither of the pair had found in another before; there was a hidden desperation in her depths that neither had ever seen. She looked into his eyes after sharing the most mind blowing kiss she'd had the pleasure to be part of, she gave a soft smile, there was a sparkle in her eye what was never there before, she felt as if an empty space in her inner self had been filled. She felt complete and by looking into his eyes she could tell this was real. She laughed softly, almost breathlessly "I love you Ric and I never, in a million years thought I'd find that again... yet I have, with quite possibly the most unexpected person... and quite honestly, I don't remember being as happy as I am tonight... and..."  
"And what Connie?" he looked at her, still in a little bubble from the events only moments before, her words had sent him to a place he didn't think he'd find again. He still hadn't let her go from his arms; she was still in his embrace a place he wished she could always be as he waited for her to continue.  
"I rang Jayne this afternoon... I erm... I stepped down for Director of Surgery. You and Jayne were right, I was just being greedy. I need to focus more time on Grace... she erm, she told me that the job is as good as yours. I'm leaving Paris tomorrow morning, going back to Holby..."  
"If that's the case we better make this a night you don't forget in a hurry..." Grinning at each other they made their way back to their hotel and spent their last shared night in Paris making it unforgettable on both parts.

As well as falling in love that night in Paris started a whole new game, keeping a relationship fun. Connie knew that was a hard thing to do, she'd been in many relationships where after the 'I love you's' were said and done it became routine, predictable and most likely boring. She couldn't risk that happening with Ric, she doubted it would but she needed to find something what prevented that, what kept the relationship they were now in alive. This only made her realise that you can finish as many games as you like, but no matter what another would begin.


	13. Chapter 13

Waking alone the next morning Ric realised Connie must already have left, leaving behind her only a note and some lacy lingerie she knew he loved. He knew that it would be down to him to explain where she'd gone over breakfast; no doubt Michael would throw the blame for her departure upon him. He didn't know whether to face the music of what lay ahead or just lie in the hotel bed and wonder what he was going to do with his nights now Connie had gone home. Being awoken by the knock at the door he realised he had no choice but to rouse properly and face the music, he answered the door and stared blankly at Michael who's head was craning round the doorframe. "What do you want Michael?"  
"Have you seen Ka-" he corrected himself, the best he could anyway "Konnie?"  
This was the moment he was dreading, how can you say to a man no when you full well know where she is, not to mention you were screwing her senseless until the early hours so she'd leave happy. How can you deny where she is when her underwear and a note in her handwriting is laying on the pillow beside where you were sleeping, yet somehow he managed it, "No… not a clue where she is. Sorry." He closed the door on Michael and stood with his back to it taking a deep breath of relief.

A week had passed and Connie was back at work while Ric was still in Paris, she'd never been the clingy type but this was the longest she and Ric had spent apart in several months and for some reason she felt alone. She was missing their usual flirty banter in theatre, their appointments with each other in the linen cupboard, the few sly kisses they shared on their breaks or when going over paperwork. Mulling this over in theatre probably wasn't her sharpest idea, hearing the phone ring brought her out of her current trance like state. "Mrs Beauchamp, it's for you." He covered the mouth piece "It's Jayne Grayson, she doesn't sound… Oh hear for yourself."

"Mr Strachan, take over." She took the phone and her face soon fell "We aren't going to be done for at least half an hour Jayne… we can't just evacuate… If I do it just so we can get the patient out I'll be done in ten maybe fifteen minutes…" she looked at the faces of the people around her, "I can get half of them out, they're no longer needed… Jayne, I can't leave my patient. Turn off the air con that should slow it down… I'm going to finish this operation like it or not… ring me if the levels go up." Hanging up she looked around her once again. "I need… I need Paul, Sam and Jessica to stay… The rest of you leave, no questions asked. Just get out of the hospital."

This time it wasn't a game. This was her life, her future she was putting on the line for one of her patients. Carbon Monoxide was no joke, no game it could kill her, leave her daughter motherless and quite possibly fatherless in the arms of a stranger. It was a moment when time stood still, a moment when all she wanted was Ric's comforting gaze looking over her, a moment when what could become of her life and what had become of her life flashed before her. It was the moment that Connie Beauchamp only had two words, "I'm sorry"

She followed Elliot's well given advice, she followed her heart and she followed where her feet led her and ran from theatre. It wasn't just her she had to think about, yet when she got outside and saw the slight blood stain in her scrub trousers she knew she was too late.


	14. Chapter 14

She wanted to carry on working desperately; knowing what was going in inside her was an all too familiar sensation. She knew what was happening, the carbon monoxide could have been in the air for longer than she cared to imagine, chances are it was in her bloodstream and that's what killed her unborn child and carrying on was only going to worsen the situation, however much she hated to say it she knew she had to stop for the sake of her own health. She looked over to where Jayne stood and walked over to her "I have to go…"  
"Connie, you can't just _go. _You're the clinical director and until the guys get back from Paris you're the highest ranking consultant in this place. You're their boss, I'm your boss I tell you what to do."  
"Jayne… you don't understand… I _have_ to go." She was pleading, the tears were slowly threatening to fall yet she wouldn't let them free from her eyes. Watching as Jayne glared at her, she realised that Jayne was oblivious to the pain she was going through.  
"You better have a bloody good excuse Connie, right now I don't, no I can't be arsed with time wasters…"  
"If you'd have bothered to ring theatre sooner maybe I wouldn't be in this mess… Carbon monoxide kills foetuses in the first trimester before it's even detected… I am, sorry, I was about 6 weeks pregnant and if you expect me to walk about here doing my job when I am currently loosing a baby- think again." She wiped the falling tears furiously and turned her back on Jayne, since being with Ric she'd changed dramatically- the old Connie would have worked through the most traumatic events; she worked until she nearly gave birth in an operating theatre trying to save a person she'd grown to regard as one of her few close colleagues, yet this Connie put herself before that of a patient and for one of the first times in her life, before her career.

He knew something was wrong, he wasn't sure what it was but he knew. Turning to Elliot he spoke quietly "Something's happening in Holby. I don't know what it is I just got that… feeling"  
"Umm… me too… we break in 10 minutes, ring someone."  
"I'm going to leave and ring now… I just… I don't know something doesn't feel right…" Elliot nodded in approval, "Let me know ok Ric?"  
Glad he was sitting up the back of the room he slipped out of the meeting and pulled his phone out of his pocket, ringing the last used number in his phone book, Connie.

"Hello…" the tears were apparent in her voice. Immediately he knew something was the matter  
"Connie, it's me… what's happened?"  
"What do you mean what's happened?" she sniffed away a fresh burst of tears.  
"Elliot and I both had a feeling… Connie, tell me, you know you can tell me right?"  
"Yeah… yeah I know. I just… I'm not in a good frame of mind" How could she tell him she lost his baby, their baby. She didn't even know how she got to the hospital bed she was in, the moments during the carbon monoxide leak were a blur to her. Something she didn't want to remember. "Connie, sweetheart… tell me…" he must have been desperate, or actually worried- something she'd not really experienced with a man was worry for her wellbeing.

Taking a deep breath she told him everything. The discovery of the baby in the airport before she left Paris, then work that morning. The phone call, the running from her patient and the people she left to clean up her mess. Then ultimately, the discovery of the loss of their unborn child, she told him her anger. She didn't let on her heartbreak but she knew that he felt it- after all it was his child 

too, he didn't have to feel her heartbreak, he had his own to feel.


	15. Chapter 15

He hung up and he was frozen, looking into empty space. He was in two minds to get the next possible flight and go home but he knew Connie and he knew she'd hate him for blowing all chances of the job. His thoughts were interrupted minutes later by Elliot; he looked up at him with a sombre face, letting him know it was bad news before his mouth even opened.  
"Ric, what happened?"  
"Carbon Monoxide leak… they don't know where from but…" It was all he could do to not tell Elliot about him and Connie, they'd had the discussion on the night she left, she didn't want anyone knowing. "I rang Connie… She erm, she doesn't know what's going on because she's in hospital herself."  
"What?"  
Both men were trying to hold it together, Connie meant a lot to them both in very different ways. Ric was trying not to cry for the loss of his child and Elliot was holding it together for whatever it was that his best friend was in hospital with. "Ric… what's the matter with her?"  
"The carbon monoxide she inhaled wasn't enough to be life threatening to an adult but it was fatal for her unborn baby…" he tried not to let his heartbreak show.  
"She was pregnant… Is that why she turned her back on the job?" Elliot sat down beside him, trying to figure out why things like this happen to the people he cared about and when he wasn't there.  
"She didn't know until she was at the airport the morning she left so she says… I'm going to ring Jayne, see what's happening"

Realistically he just needed something to deflect his attention from the loss of his child, but by not being able to tell Elliot the full situation it was a matter of just getting on with it. Then he decided, Connie was the most important thing in his life and whatever happened it would be her he wanted to tell… he had to get back to Holby.

"Jayne Grayson"  
"Jayne, it's Ric…"  
"Mr Griffin I'm kind of busy… Connie had to disappear and there's a carbon monoxide leak n the hospital… I can't control the staff…"  
"I know all that… I've already spoken to Connie… Look I need to get back from Paris… I need to know that if I leave now that I'll still have the job almost guaranteed."  
"What is it with you lot… first Connie leaves Paris then leaves here then you want to leave Paris on the same day there's a gas leak… Look, Ric, if you want to leave you better have a bloody good excuse"

He didn't know whether to make up an elaborate lie or tell the truth. By lying he'd only feel guilty, by telling the truth he'd break Connie's trust, but in his eyes at least by telling the truth he was guaranteed to get home.

"Mr Griffin… I can't be doing with timewasters… Not when one of my consultants had to run away because they couldn't handle it and I have three critically ill members of staff no thanks to her…"  
"Jayne, I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about Connie like that… now I don't know if you've ever miscarried but it's not a pleasant experience to go through on your own…"  
"What do you mean alone; surely she's contacted the father and he's there with her…"  
"Oh yes… actually he rang her… and until you let him go home he won't be there, so right now I'd 

appreciate to be let off for once and get home."  
"Are you saying what I think you are…? "  
"Just leave it Jayne…"

He hung up on her, looked at Elliot and dashed to collect his bags, leaving the rest to Elliot's imagination. This was his baby that had been lost; no job was worth not being there when the mother of his child was alone and quite possibly in pain. He loved her and whatever the situation he wanted to be there for her. He just couldn't help but think of the 3 other people that were suffering because of her.


End file.
